Weekly Update: Issue 9

Christmas Eve at Grandma Mary’s was full of games and family fun!

Rummy cards carry over to rummy cube as I was the victor. Cover your Assets resalted in a rage quit.

Family Christmas Eve arm wrestling?!? Yup, right before church it’s a must!

After a long break from Clash Royale, I went from 6k to 10k trophies in 5 days. #GenerationalRun #2.6 Why tf is there so much new stuff and level 16 is gross

Very strong year of gift wrapping from ya boi and the family. Went with the Uncle Ricky method, and it kept building from there. Wrapped in grocery bags, maps from Spain, placed gifts in an old pack of cigarettes, baggies in old pill bottles that looked sketch but were Moroccan spices and more! The Dryes even wrapped presents in the shape of a dead body and a penis!

Went nuts on the kendama with the cousins, and made a few sick edits. I landed my first big cup to juggle to big cup, and even more impressively, landed big cup to juggle to spike.

Was a very calm Kentucky Christmas outside of telestrations. Pro tip: don’t draw a guy with a comb over and nose hairs, as it will likely be misinterpreted as Hitler…

I am washed up at Super Smash Bros. Experimented with new characters on the 25+ year old N64, but no one can beat Yoshi’s !RING POP! and egging off the edge combo.

Rustin joke of the week:

“What does a snowman eat for breakfast?”

“I don’t know”

“Snowflakes and milk! Get it?”

Other comedic masterpieces include jokes about elephants eating lava.

Matt loki got jacked (Cousin Matt, please don’t confuse it with Schreck)

Grandma Bev Christmas first-timers this year were Kessler and Wyatt. I’m sorry they didn’t get to experience the annual dog fight or the other fun, crazy activities.

Went crazy on puzzles, averaging 1.5 puzzles (1,000 pieces) a day from the 25th–30th.

Fantasy football results: 2nd, 3rd, 3rd, and 11th:

2nd: Lost to Seth as CMC and Puka went crazy, putting up 30–40 points each week. That was the story of the season, as I had the most points against by a huge margin.

3rd: Had the clearly best team, but in the semifinals, Bijan, Herbert, and Olave all scored 30+ and 40+ points, keeping me out of the championship.

3rd: Everyone in the league was 7-6, but one guy was 10-3 and clearly the best. My team was looking nice but faced injuries later on, making the chip unlikely. Most even league I’ve seen.

11th: Team was looking stacked but made a poor trade (or was it...) that didn’t pan out.

Very mad I didn’t walk away a champ with the elite teams I had.

Debt card got hacked :(

Huntington is still struggling to get me the euros I tried to buy over a month ago then canceled due to it being late. Avoiding exchange rates in the refund is an uphill battle, but the guy with the beard in the Canal branch is really cool and chill, and he promised I would get a full refund, and it will all be fine. Just the boss lady is on vacation, so it will take some time.

Stamps are expensive and are starting to add up.

Got mail from Rotunno, 2 thumbs up

Completely registered and can legally give final advice and charge for it. Additionally, I can no longer hold other people’s money in my personal accounts or manage it with full discretion, so expect checks soon.

If you need free financial advice, I’m your guy.

*TRIGGER WARNING* – I start my j*b 1/5/26. I’ll be in the office and not sure what to expect, but I can assume it isn’t as awesome as being unemployed or cutting grass. I already miss my Cheeta II, but excited to use Mike Montra in the workplace!